Equal? Individual? Insitiution? What???

I missed 4 days of school because I had to help take care of my mom after she had her surgery. I went back to day and got my work. Most teachers were really chill about it giving me my work and such. There is a test in Child Development, and I dont have to take it because I wasnt here to get the material.
They started going over the chapter review in class and I just sat there and listened. My book wasn't open or anything. And she starts yelling and sends me to the office to do the work I missed...I wasn't in trouble, but I felt horrible like for some reason I was caught doing somthing...even though I did nothing wrong.
I do all my work and get good grades in the class, but I feel like I'm being classified as a horrid, lying, cheating, disrespectful kind of kid, because a fair few of the school population is.
Why are we all treated the same...?
They tell us to be individuals, but treat us all like we are the same. Why punish everyone? It just baffles me. Kids that do "bad" things during class all the time get warning after warning and rarely get in trouble...but when somone who is "good" all the time does what they are suppose to and such makes a small mistake it's the end of the world and they are (well if you're like me) made to cry.
Why are we as students treated as one? When we go in the world we have to be our own person...how is treating us all the same going to help us in the long run at all?
Yea follow the rules and enforce them...but even dogs have more freedom to be themselves than students do sometimes.
I sit and watch all the time. I just don't get it...why are we so restricted...? True it's to an extent to where they can say they give us freedom, but when you look in the core they are trying to train us to be high powered machines that think the same....yea that is extreeme. But come on...if you don't pass this test you are stupid take this class and it will remediate you...point? I got little to nothing in any remediation class I had to take.
They set us to a standard....that says do not pass go with 200 do not get where you want in life.
Why not put us all in an institution where our minds are altered to be all the same.
I could go on about how I know all people are equal in society...but its not...life isn't fair...true...but why can't you at least let us be treated as our own person...
I'm so far in this thought train I've confused myself....i could keep writing for hours....
But that would be a bad idea.
Hope somday I make sense of this.

-Paige

How I Am These Days

I suffer from depression but i refuse to take medication because its just a mask for what I'm really feeling, and I know when I run out its five days until i'm back to myself.

On days when I have to wake up and go to school, I dread what the day holds for me. The snide remarks, laughing voices of my peers. Its destroying me. I'm alone. Content. But I'm miserable. I look forward to the weekend even if I'm alone because I don't have to truly face the world. I rarely have plans...I don't usually make them because they get shot down.
I constantly feel like I have to beg my friends to want to hang out with me...I cry often over it...over everything.
Going home everyday is the best part.
I do what I'm told. Chores, homework, and any other. I fall asleep, and most nights I pray that I don't wake up ever again.
I'm attention starved, and I look for it anywhere from anyone...I'm a threat to myself...I often have urges to go out and get high, drink, or have sex...maybe all thinking maybe it will for a second make me not care. (I never do I just sit at home rotting in self pity)
I find my disregard for my own life appalling. And it makes me hate myself even more.
Not to long ago there was a close call with a semi and my car...there were other people with me...after i sat and thought if I would have been alone I probably would have let my foot slip off the break.
I'm in need of help. But I don't like talking about it because I don't like people seeing me cry.

I love other people. My friends, and my family. But I can't say that much about how I feel for myself.
Its a miracle I'm still alive.
Truly.